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[Natus]

This site has always been a solid ground for me to get information when I'm lost or confused. I'd like to thank everyone that has contributed to this site.

I'm having a good time smoothing over my telekinetic abilities. I'm accelerating at PK, but flagging at EM. I haven't practiced with my partner for a long time, but neither of us are available due to timezones, but in another week that shouldn't be a problem.

[SoSaTr]

I'm out for the summer by the way. Just thought you should know.

[Natus]

I'm having a hard time practicing in this hotel with my fam bothering me. So in a few days I'll be good. I look forward to this, since I wont be 6 hours ahead anymore lmao

[Natus]

Not a practice entry but
                                   I've finally made it back in America. It took about 14 hours. One 10 hour flight and one 2 hour flight plus waiting in the airport. Jet lag is killing me. I'm just happy to be back in America. :]

[Natus]

The more I study and practice, the more scientific I become. I'm starting to believe that in the past, we were not advanced enough to know what happens on a scientific level, so we put in a faith system. This faith system would be similar to saying "I can see auras because I just can". Now, I'm starting to think almost everything we do falls back to electricity. Almost everything. But I have reasons to believe tk, em, pk, empathy, aura viewing, and even healing falls back to electrical currents/waves/etc.

In any case, the better I accept the fact that I do tk daily, the more I tend to scan people's thoughts without wanting to. And I finally know what it's like to "hear" someone's thoughts without conjuring it up.

[Natus]

Chilling with my best of friends. More recently, I've been trying to get one of them to join this site. I confessed about my abilities a while ago, but never in person. Now I'm trying to get him to accept this way of life. He seems okay with it, and it amazes me how similar I really am with my best friends. Each of us were scared of addressing it because we thought the other would deny us.

In any case, I'm trying to continue raising my vibrations. All we can ever do is continue. And try our best at whatever it is we work at. Eventually we'll understand that Will isn't enough. You must have the right frame of mind to come to a true understanding.

[Natus]

Had another revelation.

Funny enough, even though practicing and even discussing these things break taboo. Most enjoy the breaking of taboo. But to truly free yourself from taboo, I think you must delve in the topics that are considered fact. Instead of meditating in light, why not meditate in darkness(figuratively)? Because Light is good and Dark is evil? Who is to say proclaiming such limits is not to epitome of ignorance itself? These are things no one can really prove. Someone cannot prove light is good and dark is evil without the help of a belief system.

When night falls, it seems like a frenzy for spiritual activity. Wouldn't it be prudent to experiment, rather than claim and accuse what is evil and what isn't? I thought of this after I saw someone say something similar to shadow manipulation is a form of black magick which is somehow evil.

Any medium, no matter how potent or powerful cannot hold judgment. Only the one using it can. To say a medium is evil is like say a bottle of water is evil. I can either throw it at someone's head, or I can drink from it. The bottle of water cannot hold judgment and choose which action is necessary. It can only follow your own intentions.

[Natus]

So after a day of trying out my new study, I feel like a part of my has been regained. There has to be a balance, I realize. Provided my first demonstration for a student of mine. At first he was skeptical, I believe, but what he felt could not be mistaken. I wont go into details, but somehow I feel like I have more power in the dark instead of light. Perhaps I was born this way, to be more accustomed to the dark. This doesn't mean I'll completely shut out light, cos that'd be stupid. But light has never worked for me. Even when I wanted it to.

I realize what I'm writing may seem a bit off, but I really don't feel like going in depth on what I perceive "Dark" and "Light" is unless provoked.

[Natus]

Everything is going smoothly. Energy Manipulation is getting steadier, despite it's shortcomings. TK is simple, now. It's advanced tremendously looking back at these past weeks. To me, "reading minds" is a mere expression. I believe Stolide has explained the sensation better by stating all it really is, is picking up on thought energy. In time, my attempts will be refined and no longer sloppy.

I have a student. He is progressing nicely along with me. In truth, we're both growing. I, being at a better place than he, can provide wisdom. I believe teaching anyone should be taken seriously, and it isn't a dictatorship. In truth, I have always been a good leader. One who has never wanted the limelight, and has maintained emotions.

I've lead many clans on games, and have always been a loved leader. Not just because they felt they should like me, but because of my indifference and ability to think true. I believe leading isn't about answering questions with "right" or "wrong" every time. I think it's about how to understand how your student learns, and teach his way. Rather than let him learn how you teach. True expression and individualism is better conveyed through his way rather than letting him blindly succumb to your way because of your own ineptitude.

[Natus]

Spam for 100 posts!

[Natus]

My servitore is comical. Annoying in an endearing way. Protective, but relaxed.

On a side note, when I first read of servitores the people talking about them made them seem machine-like and treacherous if provoked. Mine is easy-going and makes me laugh sometimes, just by sending his emotion. It's quite nice.

[Natus]

Tried my hand at some pk. It's discouraging that I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than I was before.

Today, I had a tumble with something familiar. I actually think it was a thing or person I'm familiar with. When I was weaker, I would succumb to this feeling of me losing my energy, almost like it's gracefully being taken from me. It was hard to notice at first, but after a while I fought it. I couldn't win, and gave up every time. Today, it tried it again and I had a quick struggle before I dominated it. I'm still wondering what it was...Well. In any case, I have a feeling it wont be a threat to me anymore. Glad it's over.

Well, that's one more thing I've accomplished.

[Natus]

Lmao, I just realized I don't like people I don't understand. Especially when it's mysticism.

I guess that makes me a control freak

OFWGKTA

Gotta work on changing that about me.

[Natus]

I'm at the trinity of [Party]+[Practice]+[Sleep]

I'm not practicing. Which is really sad. =/

My idols.

[Mech]

Ahhh the dichotomy of failure. I know it well.

[Natus]

A beautiful woman with all white eyes holding two fingers to her head in resemblance to a gun. An upside-down cross on her forehead with a red dot where the two lines meet. She has no nose. She has no mouth. It's a black and white picture, except for the red dot on her forehead. She wore a necklace, but it's gone now.

A beautiful woman with all white eyes holding a strawberry with her fingers. She has an upside-down cross on her head. One long fang that stops one inch past her chin is visible.

A beautiful woman with all white eyes. She's smiling. Two fangs that hang two inches below her chin are visible. She has an upside-down cross on her head, except her cross is all white, unlike the other two women.


Intelligence is not defining what you see. Defining what the meaning of something isn't either. Intelligence is knowing when to talk and when to listen. Listeners are more intelligent than talkers. A talker will argue with me. A listener will ask me why I think what I do.

[Natus]

This is my last journal entry.



It was never about who was right or who was wrong. It was all about what did and didn't happen. I'd never thought I'd ever say this.


Websites are for beginners. There is no guide on becoming adept. The word Truth and True were never made to be used. Practicing does not turn you into Merlin. Practicing makes you become who you are. Don't follow in another's footsteps. Do not call them Teacher. Call them tutor. Do not call them student. Call them a friend. Few humans understood the knowledge of being a leader. The Spearhead does not lead the staff. The staff does not follow the spearhead. They are an object that gets the job done.