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[issacweirdo]

So I noticed that the only requirement for logs is that: -Update at least once a week, -CAN be psi training or "otherwise"

I suppose visualization and manipulation of senses could be related to psionics, though I wouldn't necessarily say they both are under the field of psi. Anyways, I'll take advantage of this unclear requirement and start a log with my progress towards fabricating a complete different reality than actual reality (unaffected by peoples' thoughts or beliefs) through conscious effort. I'll begin with the effort I exerted today at the morning, specifically around 9 AM.

I just woke up from a couple of weird dreams that I can't remember right now at the moment. I was still kind of groggy and did not feel like getting out of bed. So I was just lying there on the bed, doing nothing. I was kind of bored and did not want to go to sleep just yet, so I let my physical body go to sleep. Once I could no longer feel my body I decided to experiment with visualization. Tactile visualization was pretty easy, except I could only move the phantoms of my limbs. I am still not experienced enough to create sensations on specific areas of my body, so that was kind of frustrating. I don't want to call this hallucinating since the word has the connotation of being negative, but I can not think of any other word. So I tried experimenting with visual hallucinations; fleeting images, but controlled, in the sense they had a purpose. Obviously I have to improve in the area of visual and tactile hallucinations, but for the moment I am content with these results. The only problem so far that I am having is that once I get into a fully relaxed state and get out of it I need at least 10 minutes to "boot my brain up". I did sleep once I got bored though and I have been sleeping for like 10 hours, so that might be the factor. I guess I just have to do what the hypnotists do and control the transitioning period from theta to beta. I will explain the methods and the visualization process as a whole once I feel I have had enough experience to preach all about it.

[stolide]

There is a lot that can be done through meditation and mental control. Based on a bit of reasearch I did on mescaline and LSD, it would seem as though I am able to bring about all the effects of both within myself. Do note the difference between sane and insane hallucinations. As per psychological definitions, if one can point to a visual effect and say, "this is a hallucination" then it is a sane hallucination. That is, so long as you can discern between sensual perceptions that come from external and internal stimuli, you are good to go.

I recommend that you go through the practices in the second half of Initiation into Hermetics. The first grouping of exercises all relate to the cultivation of imaginitive faculty. The degree of mental control you horticulate will determine the degreee to which you are able to determine your own perceived reality. You might also want to look into phenomenology.

[issacweirdo]

There is a lot that can be done through meditation and mental control. Based on a bit of reasearch I did on mescaline and LSD, it would seem as though I am able to bring about all the effects of both within myself. Do note the difference between sane and insane hallucinations. As per psychological definitions, if one can point to a visual effect and say, "this is a hallucination" then it is a sane hallucination. That is, so long as you can discern between sensual perceptions that come from external and internal stimuli, you are good to go.

I recommend that you go through the practices in the second half of Initiation into Hermetics. The first grouping of exercises all relate to the cultivation of imaginitive faculty. The degree of mental control you horticulate will determine the degreee to which you are able to determine your own perceived reality. You might also want to look into phenomenology.

So far I can tell the difference between conscious-directed hallucinations and unconscious-directed hallucinations. It starts to get a tad bit more difficult at night though; fears are awakened in darkness. What got me mostly interested in this type of thing was that I have a friend who does weed and he told me his experiences. When I heard them, I was like "Woah, you think that was epic?" After telling him my experiences, he was like, "You will not get a high off of weed if you are that crazy, ha ha ha". After some more talks, and researching online, I discovered that weed really won't get me the effects I am striving for. Honestly, meditation seems my best bet to warp my own reality. So far most of the things I am striving for seems to be side effects of meditation though. I can't do all the stuff I want to do without getting relaxed and meditating for a bit. I can tell to some degree when I am hallucinating, so I won't spend too much time on that. I'll look into the whole hermetics thing though. I'm guessing this is the right link? http://www.spiritualsatanist.com/books/initiation.pdf

So far this is one of the subjects I am looking for. Don't know how you found out about this since I am having one hell of a time trying to find out information on the whole visualization process and how to improve on it, ha ha ha.

The word "phenomenology" sounded funny, so I never looked it up. I am guessing this is the concept that you wanted me to look at? http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/phenomenology/#2
EDIT
While I am here I might as well update my log.

Yesterday was *somewhat* of a crazy ride. I was in my bed like at 1:30 AM trying to go to sleep. My eyes hurt like hell, so I could not close them without my eyes hurting. So there I was practically suffering. That was then it hit me; why don't I just make them stop hurting? And as soon as I thought of the suggestion the pain immediately stopped. Satisfied, I got into a comfortable position and allowed my mind to wander. I think I was thinking about flying or something when I heard someone hitting the door hard. Attentive, I stopped moving and focused on the noise. Once again there is another bang, so I wake my mom up and said that I think someone might be trying to get in the house. So we search the house for like 5 minutes and find nothing. My little brother wakes up and gets pissed at me for waking him up. So once again I get back into bed. I keep hearing crunching noises on the grass outside though, so I start to get a little bit annoyed. I was tired though, so I just said "screw it" and went to bed. This morning when I woke up I tried going back to sleep, but my head hurt from all the commotion yesterday and I had to go to the bathroom. I knew that if I got up I would not be able to go back to sleep again, so I stayed in bed for another hour. I got tired so I just went to the bathroom and here I am.

[stolide]

That is the correct book, though I prefer to use Grimoar.

Quite right on the phenomenology.

Also, if one cannot meditate with crunching sounds outside, then how can one expect a complete alteration of his reality?

I found out about it by reading plenty, and working plenty. All it takes from you is willingness to practice a lot, and read a lot.

[issacweirdo]

Also, if one cannot meditate with crunching sounds outside, then how can one expect a complete alteration of his reality?

My house had already been robbed in the past and I trained myself to never allow myself to meditate if such noises occur. However, since the whole ordeal kept going on I had to force myself to ignore my past instructions and to just go to sleep. Like I said, I was too damn tired to even care at that point, ha ha ha. There has been times where I have meditated in church with my mom where the choir was singing, people near me were coughing and whispering, and there was rain outside. Church easily bores me though, so that might have been a factor, ha ha ha. A better example would be me meditating in the bus. I am planning to move towards the east coast, more like Michigan type of area and go somewhere with some "a 1/3 of a mile or more away" neighbors. I am definitely planning to make my house sound-proof, ha ha ha. Still, what you said is somewhat true that I have been trying hard to work on. I do get easily distracted in general when I am not trying to meditate, so I might want to extend that area to other areas of my life. As soon as the damn owner of this one Zen place emails me back, I will be doing meditation with others and will try to speak with more experienced teachers, in the sense they have 10+ years of meditating. I am sure they would at least be considered as "Decent" in manipulating their reality. I am trying to achieve this "Gunslinger" type of speed with manipulating reality, but for now I can only dream big at the stage I am. At MOST I can do through conscious meditation and awareness at all times is control phantom limbs and have basic feelings of touch, while getting some images with basic details to see. I have been trying to study my process of dreaming, but that is like having LDs all the time, ha ha ha. I might have to start keeping a dream journal again if my dream memory starts to get any worse. I think I am starting to get the hang of WILDs too, so that won't be too bad. Still, WILDs are like equivalents of the AP process, and I remember how hard that whole ordeal was, ha ha ha.
EDIT
Ah, PW still might be useful for me. It seems what I am trying to accomplish has already been asked. I'll try to contact the person who asked this question and the other person who asked for help http://thepsiworld.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=medi&action=display&thread=2506

[issacweirdo]

I am not a big fan of multi-posting, but I guess logs are exempt from this? Anyways, my little brother usually sleeps in my older brothers' room, but I decided to sleep a little early, 11 PM, today. He says he actually prefers to sleep in his original room, so I could not do much to stop him. Well, thank god I pissed him off to the point he said he does not want to sleep in the same room with me again; he snored A LOT last night. Pity, since I decided that night too I was going to attempt a WILD. Long story short, he snored for like an hour, I was kind of hot, my eyes hurt, and the snoring was loud to the point it annoyed me every second. Using my super powers, hah, I tuned out his snoring and my eye pain and was able to go to sleepy land. Pretty cool, since I was able to attempt, and achieve, like 2 DILDs. I did not have a specific intention in mind though, so none of them were lucid. After like 5 dreams, of remembering them I mean, I decided to get out of bed and to start my day. Yesterday I was too lazy to make myself something to eat, so for almost the whole day I didn't eat anything. By 7 PM I gave in and made myself a PB & J sandwich. By 10 PM when my mom came back she told me if I ate anything. I said no, so she said if I would like some quesidillas (Can't find it in the dictionary). I said yes, so 5 minutes later I ate 4 with a bowl of beans and ketchup, to top it off with some milk. How is this relevant? I did not feel any stomach pain except a cramp on the right side of my stomach. This was not conscious, but I thought it was amusing.

[K-Mentalz]

Are beans and ketchup good? I never tried it before.

[issacweirdo]

Are beans and ketchup good? I never tried it before.

Well, quesidillas with beans inside and ketchup is very good for me, ha ha ha. I have been eating that stuff ever since I was born. It's the latino way 

[issacweirdo]

So I was recommended to read IiH, or in other words "Initiation into Hermetics". I will keep all personal feelings for the moment, but once I finish taking notes and reading the whole damn thing then my inner thoughts will be revealed. Right now I am making slow progress; I am currently at Part 1: Theory, Sub-Part 4: The Principle of Earth. It is understandable, but accurate? Once again, I will keep all personal ideas and feelings to myself for the moment. I will release the date on which I have finished taking notes on the document. Obviously I can't right now since I have not finished it. I might provide a link on which someone can download my notes, maybe media fire, after I read the rules and see if it is okay. If not then just PM, once I finish, to get a copy. I am trying my best to keep is objective, but once in a while a personal remark slips here and there.

[issacweirdo]

OH NO. I FORGOT TO WRITE YESTERDAYS LOG. AHH, Well, I will stop writing in caps because it is annoying. Anyways, nothing really happened yesterday. That is pretty much it. I just went to sleep with no trouble at like 12 AM and woke up around 10 AM. I went back to sleep like once through getting into a comfortable position and allowing my mind to wander. I had to ignore some noises though, so whoopy for me. Lawn-mowers are loud, so it was a big achievement for me. I will probably go to a Zen center today, just so I can have a quiet place to relax and meditate. I ain't gonna let them buggers initiate me into some weird religion Anyways I will also use this opportunity to pursue my personal studies and ask around if anyone has some tripped out experiences. I'll bring my mom just in case if the whole thing is TOO weird so she could drive me out of there. I would get my license, but meh. Too lazy. Maybe once I reach the age I don't have to take any driving lessons.
EDIT2
I have not had the time to edit this post for the whole youtube video. I realize it was a personal mistake I should not have made. Weird, because something was itching on the back of my mind when I was originally writing this post. Anyways, to any of you who don't know what I am talking about; don't worry. I went to the Zen thing though. It was nice, though most of the things the teacher was talking about are things I have already realized through self-reflection and meditation. Safe, relaxing, and friendly atmosphere = nice place to meditate. I might just go there again for some more meditation. ANYWAYS at one point we were supposed to stare at the floor, blank mind, paying attention to others' breath and the cars outside. I began to do that near the end but I was suffering some bad back, knee, and neck problems. It was starting to hurt like hell, so I could not focus on much towards my surroundings. Bummer But I realized to some extent what my brain CAN do! So I stared at the floor for like 10 minutes. And? Well, this is the cool part. I emptied my mind and just sat there, thinking nothing. I am just feeling my body and the pain that comes with it and am just staring at the floor when I begin to hallucinate. Did I induce it ON PURPOSE? Hell no. But I do know how to induce next time. Well, long-story short the floor kept changing colors, while it seemed as if it was breathing and acted all wavy-like. I swore at one point that if I touched the floor my finger would go through it and it would feel like water. The very advanced teacher, but not yet considered as master, was pretty chill; he admitted he does not know things, nor will he ever, like what happens once you die or what it feels like to even die in the first place. He also acknowledged he can only give stories and guidance, nothing else. So he cannot induce enlightenment. But he can try to lead you in the right direction. He considered it as just simply questioning yourself, "Who am I?" This does not mean, "Oh, I like to get high and hire a couple of prostitutes" or something like that. He argued that this is all a dream, which translated for you guys means "This is not real, but only exists in our own fabricated reality", AKA an actual dream. To experience reality is to pay attention towards what is happening AT THE MOMENT. This means you are not consumed by your thoughts, ie personal commentary on events, but more like paying attention to your feelings and sensations and acting with one thought only; the moment. Like I said, I already knew all of this but DEFINITELY helps set the new student straight. This can be applied to anywhere and thought it was cool enough to post up. Anyways I might go to sleep a little bit early (11:30 PM) and do some meditation. I don't want to lack improvement in 4 senses while one sense gets hella buffed up. So far I have worked a little bit with visual images that I can see behind closed eyelids, so I'm going to work on auditory hallucinations. I was able to come up with this one really cool tune of classical music in my head, even when I don't even know anything about music, except how it sounds like! I'll screw around with my sense of hearing. I forgot to ask the advanced teacher about his experiences though. He might try some questions like "Why do you want to pursue this goal", or maybe "Why don't you ask something else other than my experiences? What is the significance of my experiences on you as a person?", both of which I will just stare at him with a dumbfounded face and instantly convert to Buddhism Jokes aside, I might prepare for a little bit, though I already have some clear responses in my head.

[stolide]

I am just feeling my body and the pain that comes with it and am just staring at the floor when I begin to hallucinate. Did I induce it ON PURPOSE? Hell no. But I do know how to induce next time. Well, long-story short the floor kept changing colors, while it seemed as if it was breathing and acted all wavy-like. I swore at one point that if I touched the floor my finger would go through it and it would feel like water.

I have experienced precisely what you described there. These are some of the effects of LSD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LSD: "Visual effects include the illusion of movement of static surfaces ("walls breathing"), after image-like trails of moving objects ("tracers"), the appearance of moving colored geometric patterns (especially with closed eyes), an intensification of colors and brightness ("sparkling"), new textures on objects, blurred vision, and shape suggestibility. Users commonly report that the inanimate world appears to animate in an unexplained way; for instance, objects that are static in three dimensions can seem to be moving relative to one or more additional spatial dimensions.[33] Many of the basic visual effects resemble the phosphenes seen after applying pressure to the eye and have also been studied under the name "form constants". The auditory effects of LSD may include echo-like distortions of sounds, changes in ability to discern concurrent auditory stimuli, and a general intensification of the experience of music. Higher doses often cause intense and fundamental distortions of sensory perception such as synaesthesia, the experience of additional spatial or temporal dimensions, and temporary dissociation."

It is quite interesting that, with practice, all of the effects of LSD that are desired can be produced within the human body without the use of any drug. The same goes to mescaline, whose effects are normally attributed to a disruption in the flow of glucose to the brain.

It is good to hear that you are getting closer to the results you wanted.

[issacweirdo]

Woah, I did not know the exact effects of LSD. I knew it made things look wavy-like, but I did not know shapes can also morph to some extent and what not. I experience all of the effects EXCEPT mostly the shape suggestibility. I can see it morph to some extent, but not to like a freaking dragon outline, ha ha ha. Well, I meant I experience the visual hallucinations. Everything else I don't feel. I have the auditory hallucinations around hypnagogic time. Aye, it is indeed good I am getting closer. Like you said, just closer; not quite there. Maybe a year of some more hard work and I can start inducing the visual hallucinations out of free will.

[K-Mentalz]

Im confused about why you want to have visual hallucinations. Whats the purpose behind it? Im just curious.

[issacweirdo]

Im confused about why you want to have visual hallucinations. Whats the purpose behind it? Im just curious.

I'm too lazy to check if I have it in this log, but I am willing to write about my goal all over again

Anyways, I want to fabricate a reality similar to actual reality, however I have control all the time while having a lucid dream all the time too. In other words, I want to be conscious and essentially be God whenever I want. Once I can perform that then I will know when I hallucinate or not. In truth, the whole exercise will give me a deeper understanding of my brain and how I can read the interpretation of sensory data and then create an experience off of the data. I can then try to learn that when I screw up with interpreting the data or that my brain starts to morph the data too much then I am hallucinating. Once I know that I can tell if the experiences I have had of spontaneous PK are real or not. There has, and still are, a couple of times that things around me would move without an explanation. This will then be the ultimate proof for me if psi is real or not. Feel free to join me on my quest to complete sensory DOMINATION! I suppose this also has benefits if you are a psion especially. You can tell when people screw with your head and you can manually repair the areas they screwed up. Maybe have a construct that stores data and have something similar to an aura graft? Or you can just mentally take a picture of the structure of your brain and the veins (?) that transport blood to certain areas. If one is cut off then most likely you will die, but in case that you don't (stroke-victims that are living) then you can begin the path towards recovery. You can also enter your fabricated reality and warp time in there so you can practice psionics within like a minute of actual time, while it felt like you were practicing for like an hour.

[K-Mentalz]

All of this is very interesting and new to me. Im going to look into this. Btw, thanks for the explaination!

[issacweirdo]

All of this is very interesting and new to me. Im going to look into this. Btw, thanks for the explaination!

No problem. Always willing to share my progress and ideas
EDIT
While I'm at it...
Nothing much today. Two of my brothers came by with a couple of cousins. It was kind of chill, though I didn't really feel like leaving my room and greeting like 5 people...So I did not have the chance to experiment with my vision. This is in reference to technically yesterday, however yesterday was only 6 minutes ago for me. Looking at the toilets water and letting my mind water, while seeing it change colors is some progress...Though I was repeating the whole incident that went down in the Zen center two days ago.

[issacweirdo]

So technically I posted today at like 12 AM, but this entry is more like to say what went down when I fell asleep.

The transition to sleep was pretty chill. There was only one part that scared the crap out of me though. So I was bored in bed and was still not completely sleepy yet. I emptied my mind and ignored all other thoughts; I don't think I have ever done this on a conscious basis unless out of fear. So my mind is completely empty. All of a sudden I hear a couple of weird noises and the right side of my body starts acting up. It's weird because I NEVER get goosebumps in one allocated area. Mind you, the room was at normal temperature the whole way. My hair didn't stand up though, so it was a goosebump feeling except without the actual symptom of hair standing up. It's like paralysis I suppose. Maybe some of you know what I am talking; know that weird feeling you sometimes get on your head that kind of feels like goosebumps? Well, imagine that on the right side of your body. So my arm especially was acting up. I then have this weird feeling that there are multiple people in my room and my vision suddenly gets very black. No, this is not hypnagogic hallucinations either; I checked if my eyes were closed or that if I was relaxed. I can tell you I was not, ha ha ha. Now, right before I quit psionics I made a "special" construct. You can consider it somewhat with an AI program, but it's somewhat more advanced than that. At the time I believed the soul existed, so I literally poured myself into the construct. I also gave it some special features, for example I made sure it possessed the energy I was experimenting on; "darkness", AKA energy programmed to be destructive in its nature. I don't remember how, but I made sure the energy did not disassemble its own programming, nor of the rest of the AI programming. I then took a psi mold and placed it around my brain, letting it seep into all of its areas. Afterward I made the psi mold to "take a picture", in which every area of the mold saves information of what it is molding. From there I extracted the mold by turning it into a liquid-type of shape, unto which I assembled all of the information is collected into a whole. I then place this information into a custom-made psi ball, where it has two shells. The outer shell would have custom-designed dark energy where it would only expel outwards, while the bottom part was neutral. The inner shell would constantly pool energy and reinforce itself; I achieved this by creating a construct that had similar channels to mine. I then had a mold, but that which records electrical impulses, and then monitored my brain for like a week. Afterward I then initiated the mimic brain inside of the construct in correct order. My prediction was that the construct would then have similar ideas to mine, while possessing the same memories as well. I then developed some moves on how to hide ones sig, while making sure it knew how to properly phase and dodge out of energy completely if needed. Finally, I had to convince the construct that destroying me was not a good idea. I said that it potentially could if it wanted too, but then they would no longer have a host. I also argued that my knowledge in the future could possibly benefit it with my ultimate goal as well. I then made sure that when the time came I would make sure we would completely assimilate into one being. Do I still believe in it? I don't know. Anyways, that was a rough sketch of the construct. If you want someone to custom-make the programming of a construct then hit me up. If you also want to know the exact design of the dark energy then I am always willing to share.

Well, that was long. Anyways I was pissed and asked that if the construct was indeed true then it should probably set up a shield by now, ha ha ha. All of a sudden everything stopped and things returned back to normal, however it was not quite dramatic as that. Things just started to "slowly melt away". I could have hallucinated the whole thing. Do not start to assume that the construct did the whole work. I admit, there is a correlation but its not the cause, at least that is what I think.

[stolide]

Am I to take it that this means that you believe in psionics now? You wrote that entire post with the unspoken assumption that, at least at one point, you did psionics.

[issacweirdo]

"Now, right before I quit psionics I made a 'special' construct."
"Anyways I was pissed and asked that if the construct was indeed true then it should probably set up a shield by now, ha ha ha. All of a sudden everything stopped and things returned back to normal, however it was not quite dramatic as that. Things just started to "slowly melt away". I could have hallucinated the whole thing. Do not start to assume that the construct did the whole work. I admit, there is a correlation but its not the cause, at least that is what I think"

I did it out of fear. I am still not well-trained enough to ignore my hallucinations, or even events themselves. I was trying to show I don't believe in psionics, but I am not against it either. Like I said around my 1st ten posts, I will initially assume every sensation I get that is not induced or expected is a hallucination, not an entity or what not. However, in this situation I am not ruling out the possibility. I still do not have enough data to conclude it was just my imagination. Like I said though, most likely it was just my imagination. The idea of my construct still functioning could have been the cue for my mind to stop going hay-wired. However, it could have actually been the construct itself. I have not had these types of experiences before. It could have been paranoia. I'll bet that it was a hallucination. Once again though, I'll try to not make quick judgments at first. Just all possibilities, no exact explanations yet. I'll see if I could re-create the whole event again. If it can be re-created then that will show it was just a hallucination. If the event occurs but thinking about my construct won't make the feelings go away, then I can assume the construct no longer exists. That will then mean the feeling of relaxation AT LEAST was just a hallucination. If nothing happens then the possibilities still hang. I can see where you are confused though. I try to make it clear all the time that I am not a psi-believer, but sometimes my wording gets the best of me. There's been times where I forgot to mention I don't believe psi at all, ha ha ha. Since there are only like 5 other members than you that are actually active, I was assuming that those people would have already known by now that I do not believe in psi. I'm a special case, ha ha ha. My initial belief is that psi does not exist. Prove me wrong, in such a way I cannot find another explanation, and then I will start to believe in it. However, as you may know by now that proof can only come from oneself. Not confused, but I won't make final judgment. Does that make a little bit more sense?
EDIT
Since I keep constantly repeating myself in this post, I should probably eat breakfast by now and take a nap...

[Notagh]

I am just feeling my body and the pain that comes with it and am just staring at the floor when I begin to hallucinate. Did I induce it ON PURPOSE? Hell no. But I do know how to induce next time. Well, long-story short the floor kept changing colors, while it seemed as if it was breathing and acted all wavy-like. I swore at one point that if I touched the floor my finger would go through it and it would feel like water.

I have experienced precisely what you described there. These are some of the effects of LSD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LSD: "Visual effects include the illusion of movement of static surfaces ("walls breathing"), after image-like trails of moving objects ("tracers"), the appearance of moving colored geometric patterns (especially with closed eyes), an intensification of colors and brightness ("sparkling"), new textures on objects, blurred vision, and shape suggestibility. Users commonly report that the inanimate world appears to animate in an unexplained way; for instance, objects that are static in three dimensions can seem to be moving relative to one or more additional spatial dimensions.[33] Many of the basic visual effects resemble the phosphenes seen after applying pressure to the eye and have also been studied under the name "form constants". The auditory effects of LSD may include echo-like distortions of sounds, changes in ability to discern concurrent auditory stimuli, and a general intensification of the experience of music. Higher doses often cause intense and fundamental distortions of sensory perception such as synaesthesia, the experience of additional spatial or temporal dimensions, and temporary dissociation."

It is quite interesting that, with practice, all of the effects of LSD that are desired can be produced within the human body without the use of any drug. The same goes to mescaline, whose effects are normally attributed to a disruption in the flow of glucose to the brain.

It is good to hear that you are getting closer to the results you wanted.

Maybe Hofmann had something going there when he made it...
I'm still not completely sure what exactly you're seeking;  I blame sleep deprivation.